Engaged, active listening has far-reaching effects, but this level of listening takes energy, practice and discipline. The good news is that you can up your game by regularly exercising several core practices:
We've all been there.
You're debating a difficult issue and each person starts to dig in. Positions become more extreme. Emotions start to surface, tempers may flare. It occurs to you, maybe not for the first time, that the other person is an idiot.
And you realize that you're each now more focused on winning than finding the solution.